So I originally talked about how I thought that maybe this
whole “social isolation” thing would be a great opportunity for my family. And honestly, it has been, so far. Never, in 10 years married or 14 together
have we really had this much time together.
With kids, without kids. Day in,
day out, nothing planned. Unless we were
away on vacation. But never for days on
end at home. I was hopeful that it would
be really great, and then I also think I may have been dreaming. I may have been standing on top of a rainbow,
of sorts, with all my hope and expectations.
So I’ll say this: It hasn’t been absolutely horrible. We’ve had a little more time together that we’ve
really never had before. We’ve done some
nice things as a family- we’ve taken walks together, made meals as a family,
and done some household projects.
Overall, they’ve been somewhat successful family experiences.
And now, I’m facing reality.
All this is going to get old, real fast.
I’m not saying this because my family isn’t strong, because we certainly
are. And I’m not saying this because we don’t
whole-heartedly love each other, because we absolutely do. But I AM saying this: maybe sometimes,
families thrive because they’re able to have a break from each other. Now we’ve got no space, no distance, and no
break. We’re together every second. This is a learning curve, for sure.
I am blessed to live in a home that is away from direct
neighbors, with plenty of woods and property to explore. Thank goodness, because this definitely wasn’t
the case about a year ago (my family has recently moved). We have a larger outdoor and indoor space
now, room to have space for ourselves, room to do our own thing. But still, we’re going to begin to drive each
other crazy, even given the space.
During this isolation, it’s begun to look like this: “I wanted
to watch this show, but Amelia doesn’t.”
“I’m trying to focus on my schoolwork, but Avery is blasting his science
podcast.” “I really want fish sticks for
dinner, but Avery wants spaghetti.” “I really want to play Monopoly, but Amelia
wants to play Skip-Bo.” “I want to go
play outside, but Avery wants to play his video game.” “I really want to finish this sticker book,
but Amelia wants to play hide-and-seek.”
And I get it, these are first world problems. Minor in the grand scheme of things. Somewhat easy to work through and figure out. But still, it’s all the time. ALL OF THE TIME!!!
Then there’s this, with my husband who is now also home: Me
to my husband: “Can you please take your god damn sap off the stove so I can
make lunch for the kids?” My husband to me, “Can you please shut the damn door
to the basement before the dog gets down there and pees everywhere?” Me to my husband, “If you do nothing else in
life, please turn of the light in the garage before you go to bed.” Husband to me, “If you do nothing else in
life, can you please wipe the food off your plate before putting in the sink?
We don’t have a garbage disposal!”
Then there’s this with the kids: “Who is responsible for
feeding the dog today? Do it, please!” And then, “Your laundry has been sitting in
the basket or 5 days now, please just put in in your drawers!” Even more, “Brush your god damn teeth, it’s been
2 days!” “You have all day with no
expectations, the least you can do is pick up your bedroom!”
My husband and I, “Why is the house such a mess, we’re home
all day, let’s keep it clean an picked up.”
“Why are there books and toys scattered all over the living room, you
should be taking care of them!” “Stop
eating us out of house and home, before you know it, we’ll be food insecure and
grasping for meals!” “You need to get
some fresh air, you’ve spent the greater part of the day on your devices!” And finally, at 5 PM, “Change out of your PJ’s
and brush your teeth, this is a new day!”
Folks, these days will be long. There’s gonna be arguments and quarrels. We’re going to get sick of each other. We’re going to want a break, and then there won’t
be one.
The kids were excited about home school and remote school at
first, but eventually they’ll burn out and fight it. We’ll be pretty much bribing them over
that. We’ll be begging them to go out
and play, to give us a break. The breaks
will be far less then what we need.
The kids will fight with us.
My husband and I will argue. We’ll
worry about legitimate things, like finances and being able to have enough of
what we need, like food, laundry soap, and god forbid, maybe even toilet paper
(although it’s the least of my worries).
We’ll argue over household chores and the delegation of such, like
laundry, dishes, cleaning bathrooms and sweeping floors.
Let’s face it- this time together will be a learning experience-
wonderful, and un-pretty at the same time.
There will be great times, and unsettling ones, for sure.
It is my hope we’ll make it through it, and come out
stronger as a family. But I’m being real
here: there’s a lot of moments that will be hell. But eventually, we’ll look back, and consider
ourselves survivors of the COVID-19 Pandemic.
Our kids will tell their grandkids, “we somehow survived
that Covid-19 crisis, and our parents did the best they could.”
I’m going to choose to consider that idea to be the most important
to me. Because the rest is an absolute crapshoot!
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